Washington’s rules guide lawyers on etiquette

George Washington’s “Rules of Civility” offer guidance on communication and civility, with principles that remain relevant for lawyers today. The rules, which Washington copied as a boy, cover topics such as table manners, spatial etiquette, and managing social barriers.

Washington’s Civility Rules

Scholars credit the book’s teachings with helping form Washington’s character, emphasizing the importance of treating others with courtesy and respect. The rules provide insight into how individuals should communicate, with underlying cautions to think before speaking and to be attentive to others.

Relevant Rules for Lawyers

The rules include guidance on discourse with men of business, being attentive to others, and avoiding interruptions. For example, rule 73d advises to think before speaking and to pronounce words in an orderly and distinct manner. Rule 35th recommends keeping discourse with men of business brief and to the point.

Other rules, such as 74th and 6th, emphasize the importance of being respectful and attentive in conversations. Rule 74th states that when another person speaks, one should be attentive and not disturb the audience. Rule 6th advises against sleeping when others speak, sitting when others stand, and speaking when one should remain silent.

Rules 19th and 20th provide guidance on countenance and gestures, recommending a pleasant but serious demeanor in serious matters and suiting gestures to the discourse. Rule 76th advises against pointing or approaching too near to others, especially when speaking to them.

Additional rules, such as 12th and 14th, emphasize the importance of respecting others’ personal space and avoiding distracting behaviors. Rule 12th states that one should not shake their head, feet, or legs, or roll their eyes. Rule 14th advises against turning one’s back to others or jogging the table or desk on which another person is reading or writing.

Guidance for Communication

Rules 82d and 83d provide guidance on undertaking tasks and delivering matters, recommending carefulness and discretion. Rule 82d states that one should not undertake what they cannot perform, but be careful to keep their promise. Rule 83d advises to deliver a matter without passion and with discretion.

Other rules, such as 21st and 17th, emphasize the importance of treating others with respect and avoiding flattery or playfulness. Rule 21st recommends not reproaching others for their infirmities. Rule 17th advises against being a flatterer or playing with others who do not delight in it.

Rule 22d states that one should not show themselves glad at the misfortune of another, even if that person is an enemy, highlighting the importance of maintaining a respectful demeanor even in difficult situations. Rule 65th advises against speaking injurious words, whether in jest or earnest, and scoffing at none, even if they give occasion.

These rules demonstrate that Washington‘s “Rules of Civility” provide valuable guidance for lawyers on communication and civility, emphasizing the importance of respect, attentiveness, and discretion in all interactions.

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Self Awareness Matters

One notable aspect of these rules is their emphasis on self-awareness and self-regulation, recognizing that effective communication is not just about conveying information, but also about being mindful of one’s own behavior and its impact on others. This is particularly relevant in the legal profession, where building trust and credibility with clients, colleagues, and judges is essential.

Rule 75 advises on approaching a group, recommending that one ask permission to join the conversation and, if a person of quality arrives, to repeat what was said before. Rule 8th states that at play and at fire, it is good manners to give place to the last comer, highlighting the importance of being considerate of others in social situations.

Rule 58 recommends letting conversation be without malice or envy. Rule 79 advises against relating news if one knows not the truth thereof. Rule 77 states that one should treat with men at fit times about business and not whisper in the company of others, emphasizing the importance of discretion and respect for others’ privacy.

Rule 81 advises against being curious about the affairs of others. Rule 60 recommends not being immodest in urging friends to discover a secret. Rule 50 states that one should not be hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement of any, highlighting the importance of verifying information before accepting it as true.

Rule 18 recommends not reading letters, books, or papers in company, unless there is a necessity for doing so, and asking leave before doing so. Rule 56 advises associating with men of good quality, as it is better to be alone than in bad company.

Giving Advice Respectfully

Rule 45 recommends considering whether advice or reproach should be given in public or private, and doing so with kindness and mildness. Rule 48 states that when one reproves another, they should be unblameable themselves, emphasizing the importance of leading by example.

Rule 49 advises against using reproachful language. Rule 59 recommends not expressing anything unbecoming or acting against the rules of morality before inferiors. Rule 84 states that when one’s superiors talk to any body, one should hearken not, neither speak nor laugh, highlighting the importance of respecting one’s superiors and maintaining a professional demeanor.

Rule 46 recommends taking all admonitions thankfully, and afterwards, not being culpable, taking a time or place convenient to let the person who gave the admonition know. Rule 47 advises against mocking or jesting at anything of importance, and breaking no jest that is sharp or biting.

Rule 66 states that one should be friendly and courteous, emphasizing the importance of being approachable and respectful in all interactions. Rule 1st recommends that every action done in company should be with some sign of respect to those present.

Rule 110 advises laboring to keep alive in one’s breast the spark of conscience, highlighting the importance of maintaining a strong moral compass. These rules, as a whole, provide a guide to effective communication and civility, offering valuable insights for lawyers and individuals in all professions.